Once upon a time, when people were monkeys, an invention was made. This was called the "wheel". The inventor was a Mr. Gonad Nobbins, this is his story…

One day Mr Gonad Nobbins was strolling through the park when he came across an amusing looking fella. Around 6 feet tall with mousy white hair, he stood holding his mum's hand. Gonad was intrigued, "what's that you have there lad?". "I'm gonna fuck your armpit if you're not careful" the tall man said . "I'm guessing that's your mums hand by the tone in your voice, could this be true?" inquired Gonad. "Gay!" replied the boy. "Yeah… and?" said Gonad. "No I mean happy" said the boy. "Happy?" questioned Gonad. "Happy you're a gay" said the boy. "You speak words of truth there boy but I have an invention which will make you squeal more than your mum's hand, and I'm going to the town to make lots of money. Goodbye now".

Upon entering the town of 'Grimsby' Gonad has a little trouble with a drunken guard. He quickly rapes his legs and he gets in the town. "Wheel!" shouted Gonad to everyone in the town. "Wheel?" enquired people in every conceivable street, building or toilet in the town, even those who weren't within hearing distance. "Yes, Wheel" replied Gonad. "See what it does to this here goat as it rolls ruthlessly and forcefully across the courtyard. Cracking stones in it's path apart into many pieces. Without fear, without remorse. Just rolling endlessly, as if it were a moon orbiting a planet, never stopping. The ground shakes beneath it's deadly power. Rumbling the town as it tumbles through the goats body, diminishing it's life. The goats innards are strewn left and right as the wheel grinds it to a pulp-like mush. All that's left is the goat's head that starts to roll just like the wheel. Almost paying a tribute to the wheels' immense strength and agility."

"See my great invention" said Gonad. "The Wheel - Murderer of Goats".

THE END