I sat there, it was dark and my mind was operating of it's own accord. It was talking to me, telling me stuff. Talking, telling, talking, going on, not shutting up. The last thing it wanted to do was shutup. It got bored sometimes, and so chose to piss me off for entertainment. I tried to talk to it sometimes, you know reason with it, try and start up conversation. It didn't like that though, it preferred to talk at me. It just carried on blabbering about pixies and goblins in Wonderland on special quests for magical stones. I couldn't be bothered. It reckoned it was trying to entertain me. I just thought it was taking the piss. The piss I tell ya.
I didn't like talking back to my brain, my brain scared me. It had a temper so most of the time I just had to put up with the shit it dished. My brain was a bully, that was the only way to put it.
I liked to sleep sometimes, sleeping was fun. My brain found out about this once and so started threatening to give me nightmares. It liked to go into perverse detail of what it was going to do to me in these nightmares, it went on and on until I cried. I decided to never bring up the subject of sleep again after this.
Every now and again I would doze off but believe me I paid. If my brain found out it would trap me in the dream and hold me to ransom. Once it managed to con a whole box of my favourite coco-pops out of me before it would release me. When I woke up I was distraught, I was forced to go down to the shops and fork out another 65 of my precious pence. My brain didn't care though. It pretended it did but it didn't, it was just taking the piss. Whispering words of comfort across the breakfast table as it munched away on my brown and chocolaty coco-pops.
I requested, as it seemed in a sympathetic mood, that it go into the other room to eat. It didn't take kindly to this at all. "Why you selfish bastard", it said. "You know how much I like coco-pops, why did you have to ruin my eating moment?. You could have waited until I had finished the packet before you started torturing me but no you had to start killing me now. With a knife as well, I can't believe you". I didn't know what my brain was talking about. It was off on one. I was alarmed, it seemed to be under the impression I was trying to kill it. I would have told it otherwise but I knew it was no use. I had to come up with a plan quick, it was a question of survival. The brain thought I was trying to kill it and was obviously going to try and kill me first; or was it just trying to scare me, I wasn't sure.
"What's the game?", I said nervously. "The game?", it said questioningly. "Yeah, this game we're playing". It pointed it's spoon right at me with the scariest of faces and was just about to say in a demon voice, "This ain't no fucking game". However, it dropped it. It dropped the damn spoon. I looked away in embarrassment, I was actually embarrassed for it. It looked like such a fool dropping the spoon like that. It was looking down at the dropped spoon, mortified. I didn't know what to say to it. Nothing I could say now would make it feel any better. It looked up at me, mouth open, and said "What you looking at?". "Nothing", I said. "Get me a cloth", it told me. "On my way", I said. A cloth, I thought, what in the hell does my brain want a cloth for.
"There you go", I said handing it the cloth. It places the cloth over the spoon in a vain attempt to cover up it's mistake and told me to move out of the room slowly. We moved towards the front door, slowly moving backwards still looking back at the covered up spoon, mouths open. My brain asked me to open the front door. I did and we both stepped out of the house backwards, still moving slowly. My brain grabbed hold of the front door handle and slammed it shut. It turned me to face it and said "We're selling the house". "Selling the house?", I said surprised. "Selling the damn house damn it", it said quick and loudly. "Look it was just a spoo
". "Shut up", it said instantly and continued "you are never ever to mention that again okay. If I ever hear you so much as say that again I am going to tell everyone about the time you dropped your toast". I was taken a back, I couldn't believe it had brought up the toast thing. However, it telling me this made me understand how it felt. I could understand how it would want to sell the house and move away from the problem in an attempt to somehow forget about the whole incident. We hugged and held hands and skipped off down the road. I wasn't sure how, but somehow the whole incident had brought us closer together. We had both been through a similar experience and hopefully now we could be friends.