Pizza Chase Story Pizza Chase Pizza



The core turned the corner and arrived at the pizza place, they presented themselves at the entrance and surveyed the scene. A circle of kingstonians with their face and hands in boxes of doughy bread and mozzarella feed themselves in a congregation that could be described as a meeting place for take-out retards and cheesy cheese connoisseurs. In their eyes, the dull euphoric glow of hunger satiated. With no signs of anyone leaving or arriving it felt to the core like these people had always been there and would be there forever more. Chimpos exclaims 'It's like some kind of pizza community'. After the initial intimidation of this sight they entered.

Baboon and Simian decided to go half on a pepperoni deluxe.

Simian pays his half and somehow, quite conveniently, is removed from the scene by a phone call from his mate (sexual partner). A discussion takes place that Simian would only hear about the following morning but would change his life for that evening in strange and sexual ways.

Conspiratorially Baboon leans into Chimpos with guilt in his eye "Oy Chimpos" he says. "It breaks my heart to have to share this pizza with Simian". Chimpos is attentive and somewhat understanding, he knows what it's like to be in the wild and be hungry like that, he's felt that way before and sympathises. Baboon continues, desperately but calmly trying to justify it to himself. "It's for his own good, he would want it this way". Anyone listening would know that was a lie.

It was decided, that Baboon and Chimpos would run with the pizza fast and far, knocking past Simian's arm while Simian talked indirectly about love and jealousy on the phone with his mate, (the knocking of the arm wasn't necessary but they would do it anyway) they chuckled at the confusion that would ensue in Simian's mind. But it wasn't to happen like this, Simian was to return sooner than expected and with his own plans in mind. He was hungry enough for a whole pizza too.

At the counter, with Simian returned, the pizza was handed over to Baboon, Simian reached for it too. It was about to kick off. Baboon's eyes, downcast, an expression of a challenged child losing its favourite toy to the clutch of an angry parent across his face. Simian's grip on the pizza is perilous, the box slips free from his hand (his stomach sighs) and Baboon is on the run, with Simian in close pursuit screaming "bastard". The pizza community is sent into disarray.

Chimpos walks behind chuckling to him self watching them run into the dark alley, becoming small and disappearing into the darkness. He sees a smaller and more direct alley going to the left. Without sight of them Chimpos relies wholly on his sense of hearing. Muffled sounds of violence bounce off walls and into his ears, "stop….." with the hard banging of shoes into the ground, "arrrrgh ha ha ahhh" bang bang bang bang bang, the sound quickening as they come to a stop somewhere, talking now, bargaining maybe, raised voices and the sound of head hitting metal. Chimpos could only guess at what was happening for now but he would soon receive an account of Baboon's escape.

Simian had certain advantages that are given to all people who are in the position of chasing someone. Corners can always be taken tighter, quicker, more accurately. An attentive person can anticipate the direction his prey will take, he was gaining on his prey with every turn of a corner.

Baboon, however, was experienced in Simian's weaknesses. Baboon had a much higher mental threshold for homosexuality and he would take advantage of this fact. Leading Simian down a blind alley, in front of a church of all places, Baboon turned his back to him, as Simian reached round for the pizza he realised that he'd been put in a very compromising situation. Baboon, thrust his arse out and into Simian's crotch, in an attempt to make him more homo than he wanted to be. "Ohh yeah, come on Simian, ohhh yeah ahhh" and then a bit louder "There's someone on my arse…Rape!!!" Simian thought to him self 'Is a pizza really worth this much blasphemy'.

Baboon's head, in struggle to break free, hits the metal railings to the graveyard. He breaks free and runs away towards Chimpos. Things settle down at this point, tiredness has set in. The pizza had exhausted us, but it wasn't going anywhere, so we sat down to eat it. To Baboon's mind, when holding the closed box of pizza, the weight inside didn't feel evenly distributed, but he didn't say anything at the time. When they opened the box it explained why. "sh*t" The pizza was fuck*d and so was their night. .