The core turned the corner and arrived at
the pizza place, they presented themselves at the entrance and surveyed
the scene. A circle of kingstonians with their face and hands in
boxes of doughy bread and mozzarella feed themselves in a congregation
that could be described as a meeting place for take-out retards
and cheesy cheese connoisseurs. In their eyes, the dull euphoric
glow of hunger satiated. With no signs of anyone leaving or arriving
it felt to the core like these people had always been there and
would be there forever more. Chimpos exclaims 'It's like some kind
of pizza community'. After the initial intimidation of this sight
Baboon and Simian decided to go half on a pepperoni
Simian pays his half and somehow, quite conveniently,
is removed from the scene by a phone call from his mate (sexual
partner). A discussion takes place that Simian would only hear about
the following morning but would change his life for that evening
in strange and sexual ways.
Conspiratorially Baboon leans into Chimpos with
guilt in his eye "Oy Chimpos" he says. "It breaks
my heart to have to share this pizza with Simian". Chimpos
is attentive and somewhat understanding, he knows what it's like
to be in the wild and be hungry like that, he's felt that way before
and sympathises. Baboon continues, desperately but calmly trying
to justify it to himself. "It's for his own good, he would
want it this way". Anyone listening would know that was a lie.
It was decided, that Baboon and Chimpos would run
with the pizza fast and far, knocking past Simian's arm while Simian
talked indirectly about love and jealousy on the phone with his
mate, (the knocking of the arm wasn't necessary but they would do
it anyway) they chuckled at the confusion that would ensue in Simian's
mind. But it wasn't to happen like this, Simian was to return sooner
than expected and with his own plans in mind. He was hungry enough
for a whole pizza too.
At the counter, with Simian returned, the pizza
was handed over to Baboon, Simian reached for it too. It was about
to kick off. Baboon's eyes, downcast, an expression of a challenged
child losing its favourite toy to the clutch of an angry parent
across his face. Simian's grip on the pizza is perilous, the box
slips free from his hand (his stomach sighs) and Baboon is on the
run, with Simian in close pursuit screaming "bastard".
The pizza community is sent into disarray.
Chimpos walks behind chuckling to him self watching
them run into the dark alley, becoming small and disappearing into
the darkness. He sees a smaller and more direct alley going to the
left. Without sight of them Chimpos relies wholly on his sense of
hearing. Muffled sounds of violence bounce off walls and into his
.." with the hard banging of shoes into
the ground, "arrrrgh ha ha ahhh" bang bang bang bang bang,
the sound quickening as they come to a stop somewhere, talking now,
bargaining maybe, raised voices and the sound of head hitting metal.
Chimpos could only guess at what was happening for now but he would
soon receive an account of Baboon's escape.
Simian had certain advantages that are given to
all people who are in the position of chasing someone. Corners can
always be taken tighter, quicker, more accurately. An attentive
person can anticipate the direction his prey will take, he was gaining
on his prey with every turn of a corner.
Baboon, however, was experienced in Simian's weaknesses.
Baboon had a much higher mental threshold for homosexuality and
he would take advantage of this fact. Leading Simian down a blind
alley, in front of a church of all places, Baboon turned his back
to him, as Simian reached round for the pizza he realised that he'd
been put in a very compromising situation. Baboon, thrust his arse
out and into Simian's crotch, in an attempt to make him more homo
than he wanted to be. "Ohh yeah, come on Simian, ohhh yeah
ahhh" and then a bit louder "There's someone on my arse
Simian thought to him self 'Is a pizza really worth this much blasphemy'.
Baboon's head, in struggle to break free,
hits the metal railings to the graveyard. He breaks free and runs
away towards Chimpos. Things settle down at this point, tiredness
has set in. The pizza had exhausted us, but it wasn't going anywhere,
so we sat down to eat it. To Baboon's mind, when holding the closed
box of pizza, the weight inside didn't feel evenly distributed,
but he didn't say anything at the time. When they opened the box
it explained why. "sh*t" The pizza was fuck*d and so was
their night. .