Contact

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Baboon@

Mr.Monkey@

Chimpos.Muchos@

sudo.simian@

coreofmonkos.co.uk

 

What is contact?

Methods of contact can get quite confusing sometimes.  Contact can be between more then 2 people, content of messages can be misinterpreted by the recipient (e.g "I am GAY" - this could mean "i am HOMOSEXUAL" or "i am HAPPY") and the whole affair can become quite tedious.  To keep things simple i often pretend i am in the same room as the other person/people.  I walk around the room and establish my surroundings.  This makes me more comfortable and allows communication to take place in a relaxed manner.  If at any point i find myself tense or starting to panic i cease any communication and pleasure a part of my body (e.g. eyes, penis etc.). 

A communication partner may not realise that you are trying to engage in conversation with them so try and use their name in a few sentences.  If you don't know the person's name just call them "Dave".  This will not only attract their attention but may help keep them listening to you if, for example, you are talking about something very boring and uninteresting.

On occasions the recipient of your message/conversation may get violent and/or angry.  Do not let this discourage you.  If they start beating/thrashing you and scratching your eyes out in the pretend room in your brain just remember that this will not physically affect you.  It can be disturbing though, especially if they produce weapons of mass destruction and pretend  to use them on you. 

Below are a few pointers to help you carry out communication easily and efficiently:

1.  Avoid insulting the recipient or their family/friends.

2.  When appropriate, use long silences to change the subject of conversation.  Try not to use words to do this.

3.  If during a telephone conversation you realise you don't want to continue communicating, pretend there is a bad line (ways to do this could be making crackling noises with your mouth and speaking garbled words or asking the person to repeat everything they say).

4.  Tip - When creating your imaginary communication room, remember to include a couple of chairs or other seating devices so that both parties may sit down.  If made to stand you could become frustrated in your brain room.

 
     
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